How to save your marriage looking at the basics
Ok.. It is not easy to tell you up front how to save your marriage as i have no idea what help you really need based on your situation. There is however numbers of ways for you to find help, "marriage consolers", there are "relationship advice for women", "relationship advice for men" etc and you can find highly professional help online aimed towards the exact need your relationship have. I can however talk about a few concepts that are essential in a healthy relationship, some concepts that few ever think about but is important to understand every day. You can follow along no matter if you’re a wife or a husband as ill talk about both women and men.
I am not sure where to start so bare with me as I just start somewhere.
I’m sure you’ve heard people say things like, no man knows "what a women want”, “men don’t understand women”
By the same token, I’m sure you’ve heard things like “men are so easy to figure out”, “all men want the same things” etc.
Is this really true? Are women so complex? And are men so easy? The facts are that women is easier to figure out than most men think, and there are men who will never be figured out by women, And I can hear you frustrated guys and feminists go, what do you know about it??
Well, ill get there eventually so hear me out because you probably want to hear this as it can help you to figure out how to save your marriage.
If we start really basic and talk about instincts, let’s begin with women.
What is it that a woman is wired to do instinctively as an adult?
The same thing that men are wired to do, to make babies, right?
Okay.. This is the part where a woman is complex and this is basically all there is to know about woman in general as it is the same pattern that men find so mysterious in other occasions, the rest is individual and nobody besides them self’s can figure that out.
How much work and how much risk are really involved for a man to make a kid? How eager is a man to make a kid? That is basically the instinct for men, it’s to “make” the kid and that’s that.
How much risk and work is involved for a woman to get pregnant? How eager is a woman to just get pregnant? And curie the child for 9 months and than spends 18 years of razing it?
It is a big thing for a woman to have a child and there for there are lots of instincts involved in finding the right partner for a woman.
What is a man looking for instinctively?
A man is looking for a beautiful woman who can give him beautiful children, often times he’s looking for a woman with a big cleavage that can feed his children, and big round hips that can carry his children and also a sweat and feminine personality that signifies a good mother.
That’s instinctive! If you ever wondered, now you know why many guys are so crazy about cleaveges..
Now what does women look for in a man instinctively?
A woman is physically weaker than a man (well in most cases) during pregnancy, a woman is vulnerable and needs protection, not that she’s looking for an Arnold schwarzenegge but at lest the sense of comfort knowing that her man is not gone ditch her when the going gets tuff. So she is looking for strength in a man.
A woman is looking for a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to pursue it, a man who is intelligent enough to figure out how to get what he wants and is determent to pursue he’s own pleasure despite other peoples opinions of his actions. A man like that can provide for his family and women understands that if this man wants her he will make her feel like a queen. Women are smart.
Now, Of course there are more things she’s looking for but the point I’m trying to make is that woman have expectations and they can not help it. If thus expectations are not being met than there is no wonder a woman feels unsatisfied. Men are easy to please simply because men expect woman to “Do” things the way we want it, and since women in nature are more caring and willing to make sacrifices they often times go along, they take care of there husband and he’s lying there watching TV feeling like a spoiled kid without considering that she actually wants something in return. Quite a lot actually she wants a man.
Women expects men to “BE” someone who has the attributes she is looking for, she instinctively understands that if he “IS” someone that has certain attributes, he could potentially express it towards her genuinely.
And therefore, woman is constantly looking for this signs in men, women are frequently looking for strength and power in a man and if he doesn’t have it she will find out rapidly no matter how much he tries to hide it or impress her because woman have developed this skill since they were teens, its instinctive.
If you’re a wife who wants to satisfy your husband than work on him, if you’re a husband who wants to satisfy your wife than start working on your self. This is not rocket science it’s very easy to figure this out.
Here is an example of how women is looking for strength and dominance in a man that I’m sure you are familiar with.
Have you ever wondered "why do girls like bad boys?"
Why do woman want Guys that treat them like garbage?
They do not but like a said, women is looking for strong attributes in men and a man who acts like a prick can be interpreted as a man who is tuff and self assured, it can be interpreted as a sign of strength but the fact is that it is not. Now when you think about that, can you begin to understand how big the craving for a dominant man is out there when women even have to settle with scumbags?
Women do not want bad men they want strong men and since they are looking for attributes within a man it can be hard to draw the parallels correctly, and it can backfire on women (there are women who wants criminals but do not bather with them as they will depress you and maybe even get you into trouble)
Ok.. So I’ve been way of topic since I started this article the title is
How to save your marriage
And ill try to get back to the subject of saving a marriage now before my fingers are tired.
If I were to speculate than id say that, sayings like “no man knows what a women want” are made up by husbands who is to week or lazy to be in charge of situations and face challenges.
And sayings like “men are so easy to figure out” are sayings made up by wife’s to motivate them self’s to keep taking care of, and feel safe with there husbands.
A woman who married her dream man would not jeopardise it because she knows that real men is hard to find, when a man finds his dream girl its still hard for him to be left alone in a room with another woman, if the woman in the room meats the criteria of making babies (nice face, nice cleavage, big hips) he basically just met his new dream girl.
This is a challenge for men. Strong men can take the challenge, they know what they want and what they want is there family back home and they take responsibility for there actions. Weak men don’t. Women can sense this to.
If you are a husband think how can I save my marriage?
Make your self an asset for your wife that she cant neglect, a powerhouse if you will.
If you are a wife wondering how to save my marriage?
Be an asset to your husband that he can’t neglect and cater to his ego. We men are egoistic and It’s amazing how a little attention can make us feel.
I had more to talk about but it will have to wait. By the way if your interested in "how to save your relationship" and don’t mind long "relationship advice" articles than feel free to revisit how to save my marriage today
I will dig out a few recommended recourses and stuff like that for professional help to learn how to save your marriage.
Showing posts with label marriage advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage advice. Show all posts
How To Save Your Marriage Alone
How To Save Your Marriage Alone
You found your way here and since you're siting there reading this blog with the title how to save my marriage today and a blog post title like "how to save your marriage alone" ill assume that you're asking how to "save my marriage alone?" and if you're wondering can i save my marriage on my own? than the answer could be both positive and negative depending on your current situation in your relationship and why you’re here reading this.
There are always hope and there are always solutions and there is no reason not to work on your marriage on your own, luckily there are only two people involved a marriage and also, actions and consequences plays a big roll in relationships. One act, the spouse responds. Certain actions gets certain responses and if you act correctly there is nothing but positive response in return.
But what is the right actions to take to save a marriage? And how can I evaluate if an action is appropriate to save my relationship? This topics is so big that I decided to make this a series of articles. Obviously, this one is entitled:
How to save your marriage alone - Part 1
I do not know how many articles it will be but if I don’t get to the point soon a guess it will end up as a “save your marriage ebook“, so lets get to it.
How can I save my marriage on my own? Are you a man? Are you a woman? Do you have a husband? Or a wife? Are you married with children? Since I’m writing this as marriage advice for men, and also for woman it’s a little hard to be really specific but bear with me as I speak in general.
Do you argue with your spouse frequently?
Is there to little intimacy in your marriage?
Are you unhappily married?
Do you have an unhappy spouse?
Are you working to much?
Are you and your spouse spending to much time apart?
Do you feel like your loosing the grip of your marriage?
There are solutions to all of this and you can do much about it, in fact you can save your marriage alone. Like I said earlier, actions and consequences plays a big roll in marriage. That also means that you have to make decisions frequently and pay attention to what your doing in your relationship.
You have to stay awake.
Most of the marriage troubles listed above is just bad habits or problems because of bad habits, if your partner has habits, ways of approaching you, speaking with you etc. Than that’s basically out of your control but even that can be fixed by you alone.
You need to stay a wake and make decisions, pay close attention to what you your self is contributing to the situation in your marriage. And get rid of bad habits one at a time,
Don’t let pride be in your way and don’t humiliate your self. A married couple is suppose to be one. There is no need to try outperforming your partner. And there is no need to be bellow your partner.
For ex, having "frequent arguments in a marriage" could become a bad habit. And pride oftentimes fuels it. To much arguing in a marriage can be very damaging, it can cause other problems in your relationship with time. Lack of "intimacy in marriage" and unhappiness for instance. You need to pay attention to what you your self is doing in your marriage, do you have bad habits in your relationship?
Sit down with a cup of café and think about it, what is it that you do in your marriage that you can change right now for the better? Are you doing things you know your spouse dislike? Judging by your current situation, what is it that you can do to get closer to your spouse right now?
Starting right now, improving little by little will do a lot of difference rapidly.
My fingers are tired and it's late, In my next article here at "how to save my marriage" we'll talk more about "how to save your marriage by yourself" and what you can do on your own to improve your relationship.
You can also subscribe to this blog and get the rest of the "how to save your marriage alone" articles.
Update: Se also How to save your marriage alone part 2
You found your way here and since you're siting there reading this blog with the title how to save my marriage today and a blog post title like "how to save your marriage alone" ill assume that you're asking how to "save my marriage alone?" and if you're wondering can i save my marriage on my own? than the answer could be both positive and negative depending on your current situation in your relationship and why you’re here reading this.
There are always hope and there are always solutions and there is no reason not to work on your marriage on your own, luckily there are only two people involved a marriage and also, actions and consequences plays a big roll in relationships. One act, the spouse responds. Certain actions gets certain responses and if you act correctly there is nothing but positive response in return.
But what is the right actions to take to save a marriage? And how can I evaluate if an action is appropriate to save my relationship? This topics is so big that I decided to make this a series of articles. Obviously, this one is entitled:
How to save your marriage alone - Part 1
I do not know how many articles it will be but if I don’t get to the point soon a guess it will end up as a “save your marriage ebook“, so lets get to it.
How can I save my marriage on my own? Are you a man? Are you a woman? Do you have a husband? Or a wife? Are you married with children? Since I’m writing this as marriage advice for men, and also for woman it’s a little hard to be really specific but bear with me as I speak in general.
Do you argue with your spouse frequently?
Is there to little intimacy in your marriage?
Are you unhappily married?
Do you have an unhappy spouse?
Are you working to much?
Are you and your spouse spending to much time apart?
Do you feel like your loosing the grip of your marriage?
There are solutions to all of this and you can do much about it, in fact you can save your marriage alone. Like I said earlier, actions and consequences plays a big roll in marriage. That also means that you have to make decisions frequently and pay attention to what your doing in your relationship.
You have to stay awake.
Most of the marriage troubles listed above is just bad habits or problems because of bad habits, if your partner has habits, ways of approaching you, speaking with you etc. Than that’s basically out of your control but even that can be fixed by you alone.
You need to stay a wake and make decisions, pay close attention to what you your self is contributing to the situation in your marriage. And get rid of bad habits one at a time,
Don’t let pride be in your way and don’t humiliate your self. A married couple is suppose to be one. There is no need to try outperforming your partner. And there is no need to be bellow your partner.
For ex, having "frequent arguments in a marriage" could become a bad habit. And pride oftentimes fuels it. To much arguing in a marriage can be very damaging, it can cause other problems in your relationship with time. Lack of "intimacy in marriage" and unhappiness for instance. You need to pay attention to what you your self is doing in your marriage, do you have bad habits in your relationship?
Sit down with a cup of café and think about it, what is it that you do in your marriage that you can change right now for the better? Are you doing things you know your spouse dislike? Judging by your current situation, what is it that you can do to get closer to your spouse right now?
Starting right now, improving little by little will do a lot of difference rapidly.
My fingers are tired and it's late, In my next article here at "how to save my marriage" we'll talk more about "how to save your marriage by yourself" and what you can do on your own to improve your relationship.
You can also subscribe to this blog and get the rest of the "how to save your marriage alone" articles.
Update: Se also How to save your marriage alone part 2
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)